Friday, 26 March 2010

Rest - the importance of your marriage

The most important relationship is always that of husband and wife. If your marriage is not strong enough, if it’s not overall a positive thing that refreshes and refuels you both, then you will struggle even more in Christian ministry. There will be struggles even if you have a strong marriage!

Invest in your marriage! One way that Deb and I do this is that we read at least one book on marriage every year. This year we have read ‘For Women Only’ and ‘For Men Only’ by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn. I’ve been married for 20 years and what I read gave me new insight into my beautiful, creative wife! We discussed what we had each read – it gave us the chance to look at things from a point of view that we would not necessarily have got to on our own.

Like the following… (and I will caricature somewhat to make my point!) I want you to imagine a husband coming home from work. The guy comes in – he’s exhausted. His wife wants to connect emotionally, talk about the day… The husband has no emotional capacity to connect in this way. Because of the way he’s wired he still wants sex because for him that is emotional connection. It’s not just a physical thing. A godly wife wants to respond but it’s a lot easier for her to do this once she’s connected emotionally. In a poor marriage situation you can quickly get a downward spiral. The guy, wasted with ministry, can’t connect with romance and giving time and affection and listening to his wife. While the wife struggles to respond physically because she’s not having her emotional needs met.