Along with the compliant pleasers, the second group are the controllers. Controllers! According to Ortberg, ‘when you hear the word ‘No!’ you hear the word ‘Maybe’… When you hear the word ‘Maybe’ you hear the word ‘Yes!’… ‘No’ is a personal challenge which requires the steamroller approach.
Controllers have a tendency to not respect the boundaries of others. If I ask controllers to identify themselves, they won’t – compliant types will admit to their tendencies, controllers say, ‘I’m not admitting to that!’ And what happens when a peaceful compliant type meets a controller? They get married and, you know, it starts really well. Do this. Yes. Do that. Yes…. Oh, yes.
We all have external circumstances that bring pressure to our lives. The issue is what is going on under the surface and what motivates you to respond in a particular way. What are you trying to prove? Who are you proving it to? Yourself? Your peers? Your parents? What’s driving you? Who are you trying to impress? Who are you comparing yourself with? Why are you shaped by the expectations of others? Do you have a competitive spirit? Are you at peace with yourself? Are you at peace about your measure in God?
Honest answers to these questions will reveal what’s underneath.