Strengthening your marriage

Steve: Building a great marriage takes time and effort. In a ministry setting it also takes determination to ensure that ministry priorities don’t take precedence. For Deb and me, every time we have seen ministry breakthrough, our marriage has had to strengthen accordingly. Involved in this has been a commitment to talk about the challenges involved and being clear as to what it means to continue to show love to each other. I firmly believe that for church leaders, the strength of our marriages will have a direct impact on the effectiveness and potential of our ministries. This is another good reason to be committed to investing in our marriages.

So much is at stake here. To fall morally can mean the loss of wife, children job and calling. Behind each story of a failed marriage is the pain caused to families, churches and to God himself. I see this clearly lays out a need to take responsibility.

Take responsibility for your marriage. Talk together about how you are doing. Ask your wife if you are meeting her needs and be honest if your sexual needs are not being met. (In talking with others I find that it generally works this way but it is totally possible that it could be the other way round.) As part of our commitment to our marriage and to each other, Deb and I have agreed that we will read a book on marriage every year. We discuss together what we each read – it gives us the chance to look at things from a point of view we would not necessarily have arrived at on our own.