In my last series of blogs on marriage, I established the principle that the strength of a marriage is directly related to the ability of that marriage to carry increased responsibility. It must follow that we make the nurturing and strengthening of our marriages a priority. One way in which Deb and I try to do this is to regularly read marriage books together - over the years I have amassed quite a library on the subject!
Recently Deb and I read two new books, For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn, and For Men Only which she co-wrote with her husband Jeff, both of which we found extremely helpful. Even after nearly twenty years of marriage it is always possible to find new insights! The importance of good communication seems to be the key building block for a great marriage and communication will be enhanced if we have a clear understanding of our spouses and how they think.
Shaunti Feldhahn interviewed hundreds of men from all walks of life and conducted a professional survey to gain a better understanding of their inner lives. What her extensive research revealed was that deep down, many men had “similar fears and concerns, feelings and needs”. She came to realise that she didn’t understand her husband as well as she’d thought she did! Once she had written For Women Only, the companion volume followed. In both books the aim is to move to ‘the all-important recognition of what (the surface understanding of your spouse) means in practice…’
I lead King’s Church London in South East London, with sites in Catford, Downham and Lee. Over the past fifteen years the church has seen continued growth, both in size and diversity. I also oversee a number of other Newfrontiers churches in the UK. My book, “Good to Grow”, was published in July 2011. I am married to Deb, and we have three sons.