About men (by Deb)
“Our surface understanding is that ‘men care about appearance’. What this means in practice is that you don’t need to be a size 8, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take care of yourself – and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you.”
During the survey, the author found that: “The effort you put into your appearance is extremely high on his priority list. Yet the chances that you know his true feelings are extremely low.”
Shaunti would go so far as to say that what she’s learnt in this area has been life changing. She is careful to try and present this information in a way that will hopefully challenge and not condemn. Nonetheless, this was the topic most men reading the book wished their wives understood (sex and respect came close behind). Men were not asking their wives to look like supermodels – many stressed that they wished their partners were not so oversensitive about their body image. What mattered was the effort made – men equated this with showing love. “When you take care of yourself, I feel loved”.
One Hundred and Forty Years in Cape Town
4 months ago